Such Things

"...as the grasp of a child's hand in your own, the flavor of an apple, the embrace of a friend or a lover, the silk of a girl's thigh, the sunlight on rock and leaves, the feel of music, the bark of a tree, the abrasion of granite and sand, the plunge of clear water into a pool, the face of the wind--what else is there? What else do we need?"

--Edward Abbey

Twenty Months

Happy belated twenty months Patucas! You are a joy. It's a wonderful pleasure when I simply sit and stare at you. I remember when you were born and all we did was look at the tiny intimate details of your birth. Your translucent toes and soft head and beautiful wandering eyes and dried husk of a belly-button and flaky skin and gasping thriving spirit. And your little wrinkles everywhere. You were fragile like a withered old man. But the reason I'm reminiscing is because for a long while all we did was sit and hold you close and stare at you...because you were alive and you came from us! It was kind of hard to comprehend at times but every time we looked, you were still there. You didn't fade like a wicked joke of a promise never to be fulfilled. You were our little boy and you fit perfectly in our lives.

Now that it's been twenty months since that day, I'm amazed to discover that none of the wonder that suddenly became part of our lives when you breathed for the first time has vanished. Daily, I find myself watching you or talking with you or wrestling with you or reading with you or simply staring at you and my heart fills up with that wonder. You pierce my ears with your screeching and once I'm done cringing all I want to do is hug you. You beckon me to follow you at bedtime because you don't want to sleep alone and my heart wells with fondness. You cackle at the most ordinary detail and fill the world with humor. You make demands on my irritation nerve but somehow remain as sweet as ever. You howl with the dogs and it's the cutest, most endearing spectacle we've ever seen.

The reason I'm fawning all over you is because I want you to know that this was how we felt about you. We've always held a special place in our hearts for you, since the day you were born. No matter what happens through the years, as time unfolds in all its glorious possibilities, you need to remember that these feelings that we have for you will never vanish. You are embedded within us and our altered forms have accepted you completely. You have nothing to fear as the days bring forth strange new ideas and emerging unknowns that may make you feel as fragile as that tiny baby boy you used to be. Because through all the uncertainties that may arise you can always count on us, your Ma & Da.

We love you little man.